J\u2019avais cinq ans et d\u00e9j\u00e0 je te savais tellement triste, maman.<\/p>\n
Ce martyre des doigts rong\u00e9s d\u2019ecz\u00e9ma, tes mains momifi\u00e9es, gant\u00e9es, br\u00fblantes de douleurs, maman.<\/p>\n
Ces trop-pleins matinaux quand tu traversais chez la voisine pour suppos\u00e9ment emprunter un demiard de cr\u00e8me, maman.<\/p>\n
Ces nuits blanches pass\u00e9es \u00e0 d\u00e9coudre et recoudre un vieux paletot pour m\u2019en faire un joli manteau, maman.<\/p>\n
Je me souviens de tes bons petits plats, des confitures que tu nous faisais, maman.<\/p>\n
Coudre, cuisiner et nettoyer. Tu as toujours fait ton devoir, mais ton triste c\u0153ur fut incapable de nous aimer, maman.<\/p>\n
Tes longs silences d\u00e9boussolaient nos petits c\u0153urs assoiff\u00e9s d\u2019amour, maman.<\/p>\n
En t\u2019affairant \u00e0 tes besognes, ta vaillance \u00e0 toute \u00e9preuve, tu devais t\u2019occuper l\u2019esprit pour \u00e9viter de penser \u00e0 ce qui t\u2019avait arrach\u00e9 le c\u0153ur, maman.<\/p>\n
La rage, la peine et la d\u00e9ception devaient t\u2019\u00e9puiser tous les jours. Cet immense secret que tu as gard\u00e9 jusque dans ta tombe, maman.<\/p>\n
Nous ignorions ton incommensurable peine tandis que tu souffrais en silence, maman.<\/p>\n
Indiscernable et mena\u00e7ante, une myst\u00e9rieuse douleur avait chamboul\u00e9 ta vie et la n\u00f4tre, maman.<\/p>\n
Notre enfance, nous l\u2019avons v\u00e9cue effac\u00e9s, ayant toujours peur de te d\u00e9plaire, maman.<\/p>\n
Je t\u2019en ai voulu. J\u2019avais besoin de conna\u00eetre les vraies choses de la vie et tu ne m\u2019as rien enseign\u00e9 ni \u00e0 tes deux autres fillettes qui, comme moi, ont d\u00fb inopportun\u00e9ment accueillir un poupon, maman.<\/p>\n
\u00c9tait-ce le manque de connaissances ou la peur qui t\u2019emp\u00eachait de nous parler? Nous \u00e9tions des oies blanches et tu as laiss\u00e9 nos ailes se salir, maman.<\/p>\n
Cette ignorance maudite nous a caus\u00e9 mille tourments. Comme toi, sans amour, tes filles se sont accoupl\u00e9es. Et nos vies, en pure perte, sont devenues des champs de bataille, maman.<\/p>\n
Tu ne savais rien de ma triste vie d\u2019alors. Si malheureuse que j\u2019\u00e9tais, il m\u2019arrivait de penser \u00e0 ma propre fin, maman.<\/p>\n
Dans cette collision frontale, ton chagrin, ton secret et toi-m\u00eame \u00eates morts au m\u00eame instant, maman.<\/p>\n
Lorsqu\u2019\u00e0 la morgue j\u2019ai d\u00fb t\u2019identifier, j\u2019ai eu tr\u00e8s peur. Tellement peur de ton visage d\u00e9construit, du sang coagul\u00e9 sur tes joues, des veines ouvertes dans ton cou, maman.<\/p>\n
Aussi coriace soit-elle, la vie m\u2019a pourtant choy\u00e9e. \u00c0 tes fun\u00e9railles, une de tes s\u0153urs m\u2019a enfin racont\u00e9 ton secret. Cette histoire aujourd\u2019hui inimaginable, tu l\u2019as pourtant v\u00e9cue et elle a g\u00e2ch\u00e9 ta vie, maman.<\/p>\n
Tu \u00e9tais la plus belle ma\u00eetresse d\u2019\u00e9cole du canton, amoureuse d\u2019un protestant que l\u2019\u00c9glise t\u2019a interdit d\u2019\u00e9pouser. Tu t\u2019en souviens, \u00e0 cette \u00e9poque la religion gouvernait, maman?<\/p>\n
Tu as \u00e9cout\u00e9 ton p\u00e8re lorsqu\u2019il t\u2019a pr\u00e9sent\u00e9 un brave et vaillant jeune homme r\u00e9cemment revenu en Gasp\u00e9sie. Grand-p\u00e8re l\u2019aimait beaucoup, mais toi, tu en aimais un autre, maman.<\/p>\n
Je m\u2019en veux tellement de t\u2019avoir accus\u00e9e, critiqu\u00e9e, bl\u00e2m\u00e9e sans m\u00eame avoir connu ta triste destin\u00e9e. Mille milliers de fois, je m\u2019excuse, maman.<\/p>\n
Tout l\u2019amour inutilis\u00e9 que je garde en moi, je te le donne au grand complet, maman.<\/p>\n
Attends-moi l\u00e0-haut, car ensemble, pour s\u00fbr, nous recommencerons une nouvelle et magnifique vie, maman.<\/p>\n
Ta fillette,<\/p>\n
Cora
\n\u2764<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
J\u2019avais cinq ans et d\u00e9j\u00e0 je te savais tellement triste, maman. Ce […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":414,"featured_media":43307,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-43306","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lettre-mme-cora"],"acf":{"img_en":"","contenu_en":"I was 5 and I already knew you were terribly sad, Mom.\r\n\r\nA martyr with eczema-ridden fingers, your mummified hands, gloved and painfully burning, Mom.\r\n\r\nThe morning tears when you\u2019d pretend to go to the neighbour\u2019s to borrow a half-pint of cream, Mom.\r\n\r\nAll the sleepless nights you spent unstitching and sewing one of Dad\u2019s old jackets to make me a pretty coat, Mom.\r\n\r\nI remember your delicious meals, and the jams you\u2019d make for us, Mom.\r\n\r\nSewing, cooking and cleaning. You always did your duty, but your broken heart was incapable of loving us, Mom.\r\n\r\nYour long silences bewildered our little hearts desperate for love, Mom.\r\n\r\nAs you busied yourself with chores, never resting , you kept your mind occupied to avoid thinking about what had ripped out your heart, Mom.\r\n\r\nThe rage, the sorrow and the disappointment must have exhausted you each day. This heavy secret you kept and took to your grave, Mom.\r\n\r\nWe had no clue about your indescribable sorrow as you suffered in silence, Mom.\r\n\r\nIndiscernible and menacing, a mysterious pain had turned your life, and ours, upside down, Mom.\r\n\r\nOur childhood was muted, as we gingerly stepped around you, afraid of disappointing you, Mom.\r\n\r\nI blamed you. I needed to know about the important things in life. You failed to teach me or your two other daughters a single thing. Too young and naive, we found ourselves with our own child, Mom.\r\n\r\nWas it the lack of knowledge or fear that kept you silent? We were pristine white goslings and you let our little wings become soiled, Mom.\r\n\r\nThis cursed ignorance caused us a thousand torments. Your daughters became trapped in loveless marriages. And our lives, totally lost, became battle grounds, Mom.\r\n\r\nYou knew nothing about my sad life then. Miserable as I was, I sometimes thought of leaving this world for good, Mom.\r\n\r\nIn that moment your car crashed head-on, you, your grief and your secret all died together, Mom.\r\n\r\nAt the morgue where I went to identify you, I was terrified. I was scared of your disfigured face, of the congealed blood on your cheeks, of the open veins in your neck, Mom.\r\n\r\nAs tough as life can be, it has spoiled me. At your funeral, one of your sisters finally told me your secret. That story, unimaginable today, nonetheless happened to you and ruined your life, Mom.\r\n\r\nYou were the most beautiful schoolteacher in the township, in love with a Protestant that the Catholic church forbade you from marrying. Do you remember, Mom, that in those days, religion ruled our lives?\r\n\r\nYou did as your father wished when he introduced you to a brave and hard-working young man who had recently arrived in Gasp\u00e9sie. Grandpa liked him a lot, but you were in love with another, Mom.\r\n\r\nI hate myself for accusing you, criticizing you and blaming you, oblivious to your sad fate. I feel so remorseful, Mom.\r\n\r\nAll the unused love inside me, I give to you, Mom.\r\n\r\nWait for me, because together, we\u2019ll begin a new and beautiful life again, Mom.\r\n\r\nYour daughter,\r\n\r\nCora\r\n\u2764"},"yoast_head":"\n