{"id":64412,"date":"2025-06-08T06:17:47","date_gmt":"2025-06-08T10:17:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.chezcora.com\/?p=64412"},"modified":"2026-06-24T10:29:09","modified_gmt":"2026-06-24T14:29:09","slug":"a-big-lobster-and-i","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.chezcora.com\/en\/un-gros-homard-et-moi\/","title":{"rendered":"A big lobster and I"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

One morning, at the grocery store, miserable like a pumpkin who thinks it\u2019s a vegetable, I walk down the aisles on the lookout for a little pick-me-up. Inside my sad heart, a few tears fall and blur my short grocery list. Aging and living alone unsettles me, zaps my appetite. I\u2019m losing a bit of weight. Dressed in pants and a jacket a tad too roomy now, I walk down the frozen aisle like a polar-class icebreaker headed straight for its frozen sorrow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In front of the candy display, I think about my two great-grandsons whose mother doesn\u2019t want them eating hard candies. Personally, I have a sweet spot for the black-brown candy that tastes like coffee. So delicious! A young redhead approaches and places exactly 225 grams of sweets on the small candy scale.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014 \u201cHalf a pound of happiness!,\u201d says the young man. I wonder if it\u2019ll be enough to satisfy his sweet tooth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A heat wave suddenly clutches my insides. It\u2019s noon on the dot, and, standing in this large grocery store, I\u2019m hungry for hugs. I\u2019m thirsty for love. I\u2019d love to be in someone\u2019s arms, in my mother\u2019s or father\u2019s arms, so they could rock me, reassure me and tell me tender words.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the lettuce section, a handsome older man with a white apron strikes up a conversation with me and explains all the benefits of avocados. Avocado in French is spelled \u201cavocat,\u201d which sounds the same as the word for \u201clawyer.\u201d So I reply with a smile: \u201cThe avocat (lawyer) I know is in very good health. He spends his days in the office drawing up important franchise and work contracts for the company.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014 \u201cExcuse me, but the \u201cavocado\u201d I\u2019m talking about is edible! Rich in lipids, it provides all kinds of healthy benefits.\u201d
\u2014 \u201cWell, I should eat more of them then, shouldn't I?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014 \u201cTake my word for it,\u201d says the older man in the white apron. \u201cI eat two or three every week, and I'm in tip-top shape. I play hockey, I jump rope and my wife forces me to maintain a big garden in the summer and shovel the snow in the winter.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Heavens! I want to place this man wearing a white apron in my shopping cart. Instead, I feel the avocado. It turns out to be not too hard, nor too soft, and I eventually take two of them. The expert in the apron confirms they\u2019re perfectly ripe and ready to eat. I suppose you can never have too much protection against diseases and other nasty things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then I make my way to the least interesting aisle to visit. On my right, soups, other canned goods and a thousand and one crackers. On my left, a mix of marinades, shrimp cocktail sauces and the new, made-in-Quebec real mayonnaise, MAG. I\u2019m hungry! I\u2019ll certainly need a few slices of ham and two or three well-washed lettuce leaves if I want to taste this delightful mayo between two slices of bread.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As I approach the fishmonger\u2019s kingdom, I pretend to mentally count the number of lobsters I\u2019ll need for my party of eight coming over on Saturday. The man, also handsome, takes a moment to think and comes around to the front of the display. He draws near to me and asks if any sides will be served with the lobsters. I weaken at the knees. I almost want to faint just so I can end up in his arms!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In front of me, a hundred perfectly cooked red lobsters are laid out on a bed of snow waiting to be taken home. Once again, I glance at the good-looking fellow who smells lightly of seaweed. He\u2019s a bit younger than me and married. His handsome face is to die for.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we chat almost every time I come to do my grocery shopping, the fishmonger knows I\u2019m from Gasp\u00e9sie and, since lobster season is in full swing, he takes the liberty of touching my hand and chooses a very big one for me. Tonight, the big lobster and I will have a party.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once at home, I take the hammer out of the toolbox. Just like Grandpa Fr\u00e9d\u00e9ric taught me, I start by rinsing my tools in boiling water: the hammer to break the shell and the knife to carve out the insides. Then, I delicately open the big lobster\u2019s belly. Wow, it\u2019s full of meat! I pull and cut away the animal\u2019s four pairs of legs, its two impressive front claws and the enormous muscular tail, ready to come off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Suddenly I remember I\u2019d also put a jar of the new mayo and two avocados in my cart. Perfect! I decide to treat myself to a real feast. I take a nice serving dish, a large soup bowl for the animal\u2019s shell and my assortment of lobster crackers and forks from the cupboard. Then I uncork a good bottle of white wine and relish the moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My big red lobster swallowed my sorrow whole!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cora
\u2764\ufe0f<\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

One morning, at the grocery store, miserable like a pumpkin who thinks it\u2019s a vegetable, I walk down the aisles on the lookout for a little pick-me-up. Inside my sad heart, a few tears fall and blur my short grocery list. Aging and living alone unsettles me, zaps my appetite. I\u2019m losing a bit of weight. Dressed in pants and a jacket a tad too roomy now, I walk down the frozen aisle like a polar-class icebreaker headed straight for its frozen sorrow. In front of the candy display, I think about my two great-grandsons whose mother doesn\u2019t want them eating hard candies. Personally, I have a sweet spot for the black-brown candy that tastes like coffee. So delicious! A young redhead approaches and places exactly 225 grams of sweets on the small candy scale. \u2014 \u201cHalf a pound of happiness!,\u201d says the young man. I wonder if it\u2019ll be enough to satisfy his sweet tooth. A heat wave suddenly clutches my insides. It\u2019s noon on the dot, and, standing in this large grocery store, I\u2019m hungry for hugs. I\u2019m thirsty for love. I\u2019d love to be in someone\u2019s arms, in my mother\u2019s or father\u2019s arms, so they could rock me, reassure me and tell me tender words. In the lettuce section, a handsome older man with a white apron strikes up a conversation with me and explains all the benefits of avocados. Avocado in French is spelled \u201cavocat,\u201d which sounds the same as the word for \u201clawyer.\u201d So I reply with a smile: \u201cThe avocat (lawyer) I know is in very good health. He spends his days in the office drawing up important franchise and work contracts for the company.\u201d \u2014 \u201cExcuse me, but the \u201cavocado\u201d I\u2019m talking about is edible! Rich in lipids, it provides all kinds of\u2026<\/p>","protected":false},"author":414,"featured_media":64414,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"Un matin maussade \u00e0 l'\u00e9picerie, Mme Cora cherche une petite douceur et raconte sa rencontre avec un gros homard.","_seopress_robots_index":"","_seopress_robots_follow":"","_seopress_robots_imageindex":"","_seopress_robots_snippet":"","_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_robots_breadcrumbs":"","_seopress_robots_freeze_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_custom_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_canonical":"","_seopress_social_fb_title":"","_seopress_social_fb_desc":"","_seopress_social_fb_img":"","_seopress_social_fb_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_height":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_title":"","_seopress_social_twitter_desc":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_height":0,"_seopress_redirections_value":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled_regex":"","_seopress_redirections_logged_status":"","_seopress_redirections_param":"","_seopress_redirections_type":0,"_seopress_analysis_target_kw":"","_seopress_news_disabled":"","_seopress_video_disabled":"","_seopress_video":[],"_seopress_pro_schemas_manual":[],"_seopress_pro_rich_snippets_disable_all":"","_seopress_pro_rich_snippets_disable":[],"_seopress_pro_schemas":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[42],"class_list":["post-64412","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lettre-mme-cora"],"blocksy_meta":{"styles_descriptor":{"styles":{"desktop":"","tablet":"","mobile":""},"google_fonts":[],"version":8}},"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chezcora.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/64412","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chezcora.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chezcora.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chezcora.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/414"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chezcora.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=64412"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.chezcora.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/64412\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chezcora.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/64414"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chezcora.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=64412"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chezcora.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=64412"}],"curies":[{"name":"WP","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}