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April 10, 2020

I’m doing fine now

Thank goodness I watched Avatar again last evening. And yes, happily the good side won. Because after coming back from a midday walk yesterday, I felt as if Gorgons* with hair of living serpents had launched an attack on my world. Stepping into the house, I immediately sensed that these dreadful creatures had very likely taken hold of my mind, were sprawled all over the sofas, devouring my food and amusing themselves as they tried on my colourful scarves hanging in the entranceway. Yet instead of feeling fearful, a heavy depression hit me. A sharp sense of dejection, like burnt breakfast potatoes on the stove.

All afternoon, I turned in circles like a lioness in a cage. Aimlessly starting then stopping things. I was uselessness. I was good for nothing and at loose ends. I dearly missed my usual activities, my colleagues, my children, their children, my wonderful great grandson, and even (I’ll confess!), a mistaken sense of self-importance that I felt prior to this pandemic.  

This nasty virus will likely give most of us a solid kick to our high pedestals. Well, good! Not such a bad thing for the braggers and wasters, the self-centred and reckless of this world.  

James Cameron’s cinematic tour de force moved me deeply yesterday. The tall Na’vi of the Omaticaya clan may belong to an ideal fictional world that exists only on the screen, but their basic values are ones we should all strive to live by.

So I’m writing to you in a cheerful mood this morning. I’m knitting together a new me. A core of wool as strong and courageous as before, with dozens of new hands to help, to give, to care, to create connections, to cook, to draw, to write and to applaud.

Thank you for being there with me.

I’m doing fine now.


*In Greek mythology, the Gorgon sisters were terrifying monsters who lived in Tartarus.